Apologies to The Foundations for borrowing their lyrics ("Build Me Up Buttercup") for the title of this blog post, but....
Dear Darden,
I have a question for you: seriously? Now, I've heard all about "Black November" at Darden. It's like one of those "the school, the myth, the legend" kind of things around here. I know that I'm not supposed to have any free time at all, that I'm supposed to be getting 3.25 hours of sleep each night, that I should be making 5+ networking calls a day, that I should be calculating WACCs and de-levering betas in my dreams. I get it. Really, I do. I was expecting it. And frankly, my November didn't start out too terribly wonderfully. I didn't understand anything in either Finance or Global Economies & Markets. I hated my resume. I was grumpy, for a variety of personal versions. In other words, I was ready for Black November.
Then, Darden, you decided to lure me into a false sense of security and complacency. You gave me a light caseload last week. My learning team didn't have to meet after Tuesday. We got to go on a field trip, fifth grade style, complete with busses and a lunch consisting of turkey sandwiches on white bread and chocolate chip cookies. I can't remember the last time I had a sandwich on plain white bread. It was nostalgic. I had time to pay my bills, clear out my DVR, and watch a movie from NetFlix. I went to TNDC for the first time since September, without feeling guilty, because I got to sleep in the next morning since class didn't start until 10:15 for a change. I got to clean my apartment from top to bottom because I actually had time to do it, not because I was using domesticity as a procrastination excuse. In my view, having time to scrub your floors on hands and knees, with Pinesol, at 3 pm on a Thursday afternoon when you don't have company coming is the height of self-indulgence, an activity typically reserved for the unemployed or ladies who lunch. The rest of the world uses Swiffers. This weekend, I had time to make coffee cakes to motivate my Section E-mates to get up and play Darden Cup soccer. I baked bread. I made chicken noodle soup, from an actual raw chicken and a big pot of water and some chopped up vegetables. It felt like exam week, only so much better.
Then this week started. Monday was Black Monday, in my view. I don't know what happened to the stock market, but my levels of joy and satisfaction with life plummeted well below 10,000. I had a paper due that should have taken me 2 hours to write. It took me HOURS, and I finished it 20 minutes before the deadline. It was a 4-page paper. WTF, Darden? You've robbed me of my ability to write papers, and I was a paper-writing fiend before you converted me to a spreadsheet junkie. I realized this week that my resume still stinks. I haven't written any cover letters, and I have three weeks until on-grounds job applications are due. I'm behind on preparing for case interviews. I have several networking calls set up for later this week, but I'm still behind the ball. I REALLY have no idea what's going on in Finance. My class participation has fallen off a cliff. We have a marketing simulation (StratSim) from 1:30 pm-9:30 pm today and 9 am-9:30 pm tomorrow. It's raining today, and it suddenly went from 70 degrees to winter. I feel like I'm drowning. I'd rather go back to working 90+ hour weeks at a law firm.
Darden, I understand that this month is called "Black November" for a reason. I just think it was really mean of you to make me think that everything was peaches and cream last week. If you were a man, I would dump you, because I consider that false advertising, and it's a problem in any relationship. Take that, Buttercup.
Love,
Me